Lust Issues - The Dirty EP

by The PDX Broadsides

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1.
Signalling when you turn Spending no more than you earn Form a queue Say bless you When somebody sneezes Dress up for that interview Say both please AND thank you Make some plans Wash your hands To prevent diseases CHORUS: This is NOT rocket science This should not catch you off guard This is NOT rocket science This...is not that fucking hard Want a raise? Ask for it Don’t take other people’s...stuff Fire’s hot X marks the spot Answer all your emails Use proper change for tolls Don’t engage with comment trolls Don’t put your feet On streetcar seats Hurry, call it, heads or tails? CHORUS JAM BREAK! CHORUS Adjusting for the atmosphere Knowing how to engineer A craft for flight Like Brothers Wright To explore both space and sky Aeroelasticity Structure flexibility What combusts Produce a thrust To make a rocket really fly! This IS rocket science This just might catch you off guard This IS rocket science This is pretty fucking hard This IS rocket science This shit is pretty fucking hard Rocket science...is fucking hard
2.
Dear Juliet, I saw you at the party Though we've only met, girl, you're the one You’re super hot and I’m a tad obsessive Now ditch your nurse and parent, let’s have fun Our families may be at war, but I have these stupid friends A rose by any other...hey, girl, what’s your name again? Stop asking me wherefore, because you know I’ll always be your dirtbag Romeo Dear Juliet, I’m just outside your window Paris would have flowers or a poem Me, I wish I would have brought a sandwich Since I’m just here ‘cause I’m too drunk to get home They say that young men’s love’s not in their hearts, but in their eyes I swear I’m not like that so let me check between them thighs I’ll make you swear your love to me below I’ll always be your dirtbag Romeo Dear Juliet, girl, I got some bad news It seems your dickbag cousin’s met his end Don’t get me wrong, that guy was such a toolkit But I’m feeling bad ‘cause he was our kinsman I’ll make it up to you if you’ll just let me in your bed Oh, by the way, I’m leaving town, The Prince, he wants me dead Now if you please, to your knees, thither go I’ll always be your dirtbag Romeo Dear Juliet, I’m lying right beside you And even dead, you’re so completely fine But as I quaff this PBR and poison I wonder if you’re as hot as Rosaline Our story ends with me and we’ve earned every coffin nail But what we’ve really learned is not to trust Italian mail Thy drugs are quick, a kiss before I go...oh no. I’ll always be your dirtbag Romeo
3.
Call it sex, call it fucking, which your phone corrects to “ducking” When you’re sexting with that sexy Tindr guy It does not add romance when you call it “baby dance” If you do I hope you catch it in the eye You’re not old enough to have it if you cannot say its name Intercourse, fuck like rabbits even those are pretty tame They’re labia, if maybe ya indulge in nymphomania Come on and do it, or screw it... It’s just sex! If you whisper, “How’s your father?” then you shouldn’t even bother Until the facts of life don’t scare you so You can call it making love but when push *cough* comes to shove That’s really not what makes the juices flow You’re not old enough to have it if you cannot say its name Fornication, copulation even those are pretty tame It shouldn’t cause angina to say foreskin or vagina Come on and do it, or screw it It’s just sex! Please don't fear using terms that are clinical Those who hear will not likely think you cynical Don't dissemble, be specific, for if You get scientific You're more likely to bring passion to its pinnacle Your verbal substitutions will not give the word ablutions It won’t make it any cleaner to pretend No pants dance, do the deed, bumping uglies, spreading seed Are unlikely to incite me to transcend You’re not old enough to have it if you cannot say its name Reproduction, carnal knowledge even those are pretty tame If you want to lose your merkin to be jerkin’ where she’s twerkin’ Come on and do it, or screw it It’s just sex! Don’t be genteel to cop a feel It’s just sex! Get permission for emissions It’s just sex! Don’t pull out, just lean in! It’s just sex! Come on and do it, or screw it It’s just sex!
4.
Put two and two together and you know that they are four But with Adam Baldwin in the mix you’re gonna get much more Adam Baldwin slashfic Sing another verse Tell another story And please make this one worse When Hogwarts needed someone to teach their PE class They chose young Adam Baldwin for his athletic past But when he met Professor Snape he found himself entranced And finally won him over with a sexy hula dance. And finally won him over with a sexy hula dance. CHORUS Then Baldwin rode a cyclone to the magic land of Oz He put the moves on Dorothy who turned him down because Although he seemed quite interested, when she turned her head He dropped the act, he dropped his pants, and screwed the dog instead. He dropped the act, he dropped his pants, and screwed the dog instead. CHORUS Baldwin is the cunning runt Who pulls such cunning stunts And with his cunning countrymen Continues to confront Adam joined the Enterprise and worked for Mr Scott And you could say it wasn't just the warp core getting hot So when the captain wandered in and found them in the nude His engineer was elbow deep in Baldwin's Jeffries tube His engineer was elbow deep in Baldwin's Jeffries tube CHORUS

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Yes, TRUST ISSUES is family-friendly, but there are some naughtier tunes we've been eager to share with you. Thanks to our Kickstarter backers, we present to you our Dirty EP, LUST ISSUES!

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released October 30, 2017

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The PDX Broadsides Portland, Oregon

The PDX Broadsides (Portland, OR)
pdxbroadsides.com
are a trio of nerd enthusiasts who sing about science, piracy, superheroes, robots, and other geeky topics with great vigor and harmony. Formed in September 2011 on accident in a crucible of exhaustion, excessive coffee and too much wine, they deliver original nerdy tunes and geek parodies. ... more

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