Relatable Content

by The PDX Broadsides

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about

RELATABLE CONTENT, the fifth studio album from the PDX-based nerd pop trio, is a deeper turn into fandoms and feelings. At turns hilarious and heart-rending, The PDX Broadsides release their most complex and vulnerable work to date. This is decidedly Relatable Content.

credits

released July 2, 2019

The PDX Broadsides are:
Dr. Jessica Hebert, Christian Lipski, Hollyanna McCollom

Bass on "Orpheus": Chris Waffle
Cello on "The Alligators": Betsy Tinney

All songs written by The PDX Broadsides
Recorded, mixed, and mastered by
Kevin S. Hahn at Opal Studio, Portland OR

Thanks to our custom song backers for the inspiration:
Shawna Jacques, Samantha Rushford, Nick Goolsbee

Cover art by Aud Koch

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The PDX Broadsides Portland, Oregon

The PDX Broadsides (Portland, OR)
pdxbroadsides.com
are a trio of nerd enthusiasts who sing about science, piracy, superheroes, robots, and other geeky topics with great vigor and harmony. Formed in September 2011 on accident in a crucible of exhaustion, excessive coffee and too much wine, they deliver original nerdy tunes and geek parodies. ... more

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Track Name: Let The Wild Rumpus Start
I’m feeling mischief in the air
I wanna shout, let down my hair
So, come and join me, if you dare
And let the Wild Rumpus start!
Wear your colors, make your art
Grow an extra body part
If it feels good, then just take part
And let the Wild Rumpus start

Well, maybe you’re a freak and maybe you’re a loser
A know-it-all, a joker, an outcast or a boozer
Let’s all be monsters and gnash our jaws
It don’t matter, we’ve all got claws!

The stars are roaring in the sky
So, let’s roar back our battle cry
There will be no sleep tonight
Let the Wild Rumpus start,
Oh yeah - Let the Wild Rumpus start!

Let’s all swing from trees together
It doesn’t matter if we’re friends forever,
Let’s be naughty and do whatever
And let the Wild Rumpus start!
The sun is rising, but let it go
Just keep on dancing, please don’t go
I’ll eat you up, I love you so!
Let the Wild Rumpus start!

Well, maybe you’re a freak and maybe you’re a loser
A know-it-all, a joker, an outcast or a boozer
Let’s all be monsters and gnash our jaws
It don’t matter, we’ve all got claws!

I wanna dance on someone’s head
And never, ever go to bed
Let’s drink another toast instead
Let the Wild Rumpus start, oh yeah!
Let the Wild Rumpus start, right now

And let the Wild Rumpus start!
Track Name: Together Breakfast
Well, I woke up feeling grumpy and the world is down and dumpy
But with you, I think I’ll be okay
Worries one after another, but buddy, if I had my druthers
I’d have a sunny-side-up Sunday with you

Let’s have a together breakfast
Let’s eat a waffle side-by-side
The world is pretty crazy
But let’s whip up some gravy
And maybe things will be alright

Let’s have a together breakfast
Let’s brunch together hand-in-hand
Just say that you’ll partake in
Some OJ and some bacon
Together that would be so grand

If the world has got you weary
Fighting battles ‘til you’re teary
If you’re feeling like you’re in a jam
I’m the ham to your potato,
We are best buds, so please just say so
I’ve got a feeling you are needing it too

Let’s have a together breakfast
Let’s eat a waffle side-by-side
The world is pretty crazy
But let’s whip up some gravy
And maybe things will be alright

Let’s have a together breakfast
Let’s brunch together hand-in-hand
Just say that you’ll partake in
Some OJ and some bacon
Together that would be so grand

Sometimes life gets pretty hectic
And you are feeling apoplectic
But you needn't worry, here I am
We can bake or we can buy it
Let’s just huddle up and try it
‘Cause together we can do anything

Let’s have a together breakfast
Let’s eat a waffle side-by-side
The world is pretty crazy
But let’s whip up some gravy
And maybe things will be alright

Let’s have a together breakfast
Let’s brunch together hand-in-hand
Just say that you’ll partake in
Some OJ and some bacon
Together that would be so grand

Can I have a little bacon, can I have a little juice,
But mostly can I hang out with you?
Together that would be so grand
Track Name: Jerkbrain
I liked meeting your friends
Most of them seemed nice
But I’m pretty sure they’re judging me
For bringing my own dice
Anxiety gets the best of me when it’s not who I want to be
But I have a clever name, you see, for why I leave so abruptly

Some days my brain isn’t kind to me
Sometimes my heart and head just don’t agree
Don’t want to fall for it, but I’m going headfirst
Jerkbrain, you are the worst

I don’t mean to be moody
I don’t mean to be sad
I didn’t mean to come to your party and only talk to Thad
(Who’s a good boy? Thad’s a good boy!)
My confession: that depression is my second profession
It’s my main transgression that I leave a bad impression

Some days my brain isn’t kind to me
Sometimes my heart and head just don’t agree
Don’t want to fall for it, but I’m going headfirst
Jerkbrain, you are the worst

I promise I’m really cool inside
Somewhere in my brain, I don’t want to hide
But words blerf-ma-flerp when brain’s in overdrive
Can’t reach the pedals, just along for the ride

I know it isn’t easy
To always be my friend
I’m not broken, but I’m different
But you seem to comprehend
That I’m trying and defying the disposition underlying
All the crying while applying all the love that you’re supplying

Some days my brain isn’t kind to me
Sometimes my heart and head just don’t agree
Don’t want to fall for it, but I’m going headfirst
Jerkbrain, you are the worst
Don’t want to fall for it, but I’m going headfirst
Jerkbrain, you are the worst
Track Name: Buffalo
I rode a buffalo, it was very shaggy
I found that buffalo riding is unwise
We took off suddenly, racing ‘cross the prairie
It gave me rug burns up and down my thighs

I rode a zebra - I was on safari
I wrapped my fingers in its wiry mane
It started bucking, startled by a lion
And when I landed I think I bruised my brain

Wild animals are not for you to ride
They need to live and wander free
There are other ways to get around outside
Let ‘em be
Oh, Let ‘em be

I rode a T. Rex down at the museum
It stood there frozen, taken quite aback
It couldn’t reach me with its little grabbers
I was arrested, now I can’t go back

Wild animals are not for you to ride
They need to live and wander free
There are other ways to get around outside
Let ‘em be
Oh, Let ‘em be

Why Why ride them though you may see the appeal
Try try seeing the way they must surely feel
Cry cry for them they never asked for this deal
Buy buy yourself an actual automobile

I rode a porcupine...

I rode an ambulance due to my decisions
I learned a lesson much to my surprise
Life is a journey, not a destination
So go domestic, never improvise

Wild animals are not for you to ride
They need to live and wander free
There are other ways to get around outside
Let ‘em be
Oh, Let ‘em be
Let ‘em be
Oh, Let ‘em be

Let ‘em be
Track Name: Love Good
Curiosity
Unlocks a world that we never see
A mind that is open
Invites in the unknown
For company

Bring it all outside
Sunflower luck for the groom and bride
Immune to the hearsay
The cruel everywheresay
Just step aside

Trust in the dreamer
Live with your whole life
Stand out and don’t be afraid to be misunderstood
Trust in the dreamer
She will find her kind
Hear with your ears and your heart and your toes
And love good

“Please
Watch your step
Be on guard
For the nargles are everywhere
Though you may search in vain
You
May suspect
From your shock
That a Wrackspurt has gotten you
Don’t worry you’re just as sane as I am”

Chasing mystery
With frightfully strong positivity
Respect for the creatures who walk with us, unseen
To you and me

Rainbow honesty
Colored with real generosity
Defending your family and friends with a steely
Ferocity

Trust in the dreamer
Live with your whole life
Stand out and don’t be afraid to be misunderstood
Trust in the dreamer
She will find her kind
Hear with your ears and your heart and your toes
And love good
Hear with your ears and your heart and your toes
And love good
Hear with your ears and your heart and your toes
And love good
Track Name: Orpheus
The only thing that’s moving is this terror-laden thrashing
Of the thing that wants escaping from this cage made of my wings

My tongue stuck to this flagpole so my dignity will stand tall
While you tell me to be thankful because it could have been much worse

Orpheus is freezing us
His song is oh-so-charming
And we listen to his merry tune
All my parts are tensing
To resist or leave this party
But there are no exits to this room

Was my voice too shaky did my “no” sound like a “maybe”
Society has trained me to make my declarations soft

A mask that I can see through as you’re posting hashtag me too
All you ask is that I please you with your secrets all secure

Orpheus is freezing us
His song is oh-so-charming
And we listen to his merry tune
All my parts are tensing
To resist or leave this party
But there are no exits to this room

30 nos and then a breath does not constitute a yes
Climate changes, tongues will thaw turn this shame into a roar
We won’t be silenced anymore
Justice is more than the law

Orpheus is freezing us
His song is oh-so-charming
And we listen to his merry tune
All my parts are tensing
To resist or leave this party
But there are no exits to this room

You built no exits to this room
Track Name: Rewind
I don't know how we got here but we got here pretty fast
It started with a question that I wish I hadn't asked
You don't want to say you're sorry
And I don't want to say you're right
But one of us is going to have to
Bend to end this fight.

Stop. Rewind. Reassess and realign.
Your words and mine, twisted, tangled, out of line.
Back up. Hold on. Take a breath, now, hey, c’mon
We can’t unsay the things we said today.
Rewind

Well, I was only teasing, didn’t think that you would mind
Why did you get so angry? Why were you so unkind?
Now I’ve forgotten why we’re fighting
But I just can’t seem to yield
But we’ve got to take a breath before we go too far afield

Stop. Rewind. Reassess and realign.
Your words and mine, twisted, tangled, out of line.
Back up. Hold on. Take a breath, now, hey, c’mon
We can’t unsay the things we said today.
Rewind

I’ve got three decades of worry in the trench between my brows
We didn’t have to start this but we just can’t go back now
It’s strange how words get heavy
from the weight of things unsaid
But I can hardly hear you through the noises in my head

Stop. Rewind. Reassess and realign.
Your words and mine, twisted, tangled, out of line.
Back up. Hold on. Take a breath, now, hey, c’mon
We can’t unsay the things we said today.

Stop. Rewind. Reassess and realign.
Your words and mine, twisted, tangled, out of line.
Back up. Hold on. Take a breath, now, hey, c’mon
We can’t unsay the things we said today.
Rewind
Track Name: Lost At Sea
Fare you well and take care
The wheel turns ever on, we all ever move on
Fare you well, but beware
The road that led us here will not curve back this way again

The tears have all run dry I have already said goodbye
This is just a funeral for a body lost at sea
This is just a funeral for a body

Come a day we should meet
In these circles it might happen, be my luck that it will happen
I wish you light to guide your feet
Down a pathway going elsewhere that won’t ever cross my own

The tears have all run dry I have already said goodbye
This is just a funeral for a body lost at sea
This is just a funeral for a body
Lost at sea

Fare you well, I wish you joy
But I owe you no debt, I might forgive, now let’s forget
Your welcome’s out, don’t play coy
The only thing I have for you is this last refrain

The tears have all run dry I have already said goodbye
This is just a funeral for a body lost at sea
This song is just a funeral

Because I am the soul of courtesy The saint of civility
Especially when I wish you were gone

The tears have all run dry I have already said goodbye
This is just a funeral for a body lost at sea
This is just a funeral for a body
Lost at sea
Track Name: The Alligators
Friday morning, sun is shining, birds are darting in the sky
I am waking, barely stretching, and already I want to cry
You are cloudless, I'm a rainstorm...
Clattering down in a warm July

Sometimes I can’t hear you when you speak
because the alligators tell me that I’m weak
Oh, they will snap their jaws and they will thrash their tails
They’ll lick their pointed teeth and drum their awful nails
Saying, “You aren’t good enough” and “you are such a crock”
The alligators will eat you if you listen to them talk.

At a party, feeling lovely, someone laughs a bit too bright
I am trying, to remember, the last time that I felt so light
You are smiling, and I’m still trying...
To occupy this moment right

Sometimes I don’t listen when I should
Because the alligators tell me I’m no good
Oh, they will snap their jaws and they will thrash their tails
They’ll lick their pointed teeth and drum their awful nails
Saying, “you aren’t very smart” “You’re such a stupid freak”
The alligators will eat you if you listen to them speak

Near the window, feeling restless, I need to take a walk outside
I am watching, I am waiting, until I feel the moment’s right
You’re a lion, always roaring...
And I’m still trying to win this fight

Sometimes I don’t do the things I say
When I let the alligators have their way
Oh, they will snap their jaws and they will thrash their tails
They’ll lick their pointed teeth and drum their awful nails
Saying, “You are going to fail” “You shouldn’t even try”
The alligators will eat you if you listen to their lies

The alligators don’t know me, they’re trying to feed their souls.
And I won’t let them get me, or let them take control.
So, they can snap their jaws and they can thrash their tails.
They can lick their pointed teeth and drum their awful nails.

But I won’t let them eat me, because it’s my turn to be whole.
Track Name: House of the Wind
Earning this talent that I’ve got
I saved every drab and every jot
Til I have enough to take my shot
We’ll say this is where it all began
I’ll meet you here at the end of the span
For Cinnamon Mead and Blackberry Bran

I know a place
Where silver is paid
And golden is played

Give me time and I will sing
Here at the House of the Wind
Of love and loss and everything
Here at the House of the Wind

Waiting my turn with my stomach tight
Climbing the stairs when the moment’s right
And there I am calm as a winter night
Out at the edge I’m a little fae
Deep down I know I was born to play
But what you will hear I can hardly say

I know a place
Where silver is paid
And golden is played

Give me time and I will sing
Here at the House of the Wind
Of love and loss and everything
Here at the House of the Wind

Can’t save a love that’s gone too long
Can't earn your pipes if the feeling is wrong
Can’t save the end of a broken song
Slowly I call them, draw them near
As they regard me with love and fear
Suddenly thunder is all I hear

I know a place
Where silver is paid
And golden is played

Give me time and I will sing
Here at the House of the Wind
Of love and loss and everything
Here at the House of the Wind
Here at the House of the Wind
Track Name: Heartless
How funny to be queen of the thing that I lack
They say envy’s green while I paint roses red
How loathsome to be queen but I can’t take it back
I rage, it’s routine, off with their heads

Once upon a time, I was alive
When hope filled this hole, I’m hollow inside

Sing me a song from the words left unspoken
Between us when we thought we could not be broken
I'll never break
I'll never take your heart
I sing the song from the notes that you left me
The tune is all wrong and words seem so empty
I’ll never break
I’ll never take your heart
Love was such a mess - So now I am heartless

How clever to be queen - Do you know what I hide?
No secret, just obscene - I’m wicked, it’s legend
How spiteful to be queen - Come along for the ride
They will stare, I’m the scene - My rule is unquestioned

Once upon a time, I was alive
When hope filled this hole, I’m hollow inside

Sing me a song from the words left unspoken
Between us when we thought we could not be broken
I'll never break
I'll never take your heart
I sing the song from the notes that you left me
The tune is all wrong and words seem so empty
I’ll never break
I’ll never take your heart

But who needs a heart to rule
When fear will work as well as love
When fear will work better than love
When fear will never leave me like love
When fear will never leave me like you

I traded it all, to the girls in the well, for a chance at revenge
I got what I bought, and I got it well, but I’ve gone ‘round the bend
They took my heart, but left in its place a seed of doubt
If you paint yourself red, no one can tell that you’re
Bleeding out

How funny

Once upon a time, I was alive
I’ll show you the scar, my ribs open wide

Once upon a time, I was alive
When hope filled this hole, I’m hollow inside

Sing me a song from the words left unspoken
Between us when we thought we could not be broken
I'll never break
I'll never take your heart
I sing the song from the notes that you left me
The tune is all wrong and words seem so empty
I’ll never break
I’ll never take your heart
Love was such a mess - So now I am heartless

Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken anyway?
Track Name: Serotonin Dopamine
It’s been a long day
For several months
Internal silence
I had it once
And though my life is looking up I just see an empty cup
That is somehow made of fire
So I’m looking for some friends I used to know

(Give me that) Serotonin Dopamine
And empty out my veins of gasoline
I’m stuck in overdrive and I could burn alive
(I need some) Serotonin Dopamine
Oh soothing sweet endorphins come to me
And calm my worried brow
I could use some solace from you now

Is that a back beat
Or jungle drums
Like something wicked
It always comes
All I want is to get out of this hidden haunted house
That is open all year round
So if you could get me where I need to go

(Give me that) Serotonin Dopamine
And empty out my veins of gasoline
I’m stuck in overdrive and I could burn alive
(I need some) Serotonin Dopamine
Oh soothing sweet endorphins come to me
And calm my worried brow
I could use some solace from you now

Somehow it feels like I am plugged into a socket
In a rocket that is full of angry bees
Who now decide that it is time to check my taxes
Sharp’ning axes while I think I’ve lost my keys

No need to worry
I’ll be all right
I will be social
Just not tonight
There’s an upset in my brain and I’m afraid I must abstain
So I’ll party on my own
But if you’ve got those drugs, I want to score

(Give me that) Serotonin Dopamine
And empty out my veins of gasoline
I’m stuck in overdrive and I could burn alive
(I need some) Serotonin Dopamine
Oh soothing sweet endorphins come to me
And calm my worried brow
I could use some solace from you now

I could use some solace from you now
Track Name: Winter is Coming
I speak whatever comes to mind:
I am a lady, but not refined;
Swift as a deer, quiet as shade
I don’t need saving, I’m not afraid

I never dreamed I’d go so far,
The path was dark with winter stars,
A girl can fight, a girl can die
For shadows are my battle cry

Though I am known for raising hell;
My heart still rests at Winterfell
There’s wolf blood running through this mouse
There’s wolf blood running through this mouse
And winter is coming for your house

Mountains can’t get in my way
So, you can tell Death "not today"
I’m not a girl you can knock about;
And you would be foolish to count me out.

With my needle in my hand,
I have armies to command
Each bruise a lesson, from which I’m bred
All worth nothing if you are dead

Though I am known for raising hell;
My heart still rests at Winterfell
There’s wolf blood running through this mouse
And winter is coming--

Known for raising hell;
My heart still rests at Winterfell
There’s wolf blood running through this mouse
And winter is coming for your house

Winter is coming