Dear Juliet, I saw you at the party
Though we've only met, girl, you're the one
You’re super hot and I’m a tad obsessive
Now ditch your nurse and parent, let’s have fun
Our families may be at war, but I have these stupid friends
A rose by any other...hey, girl, what’s your name again?
Stop asking me wherefore, because you know
I’ll always be your dirtbag Romeo

Dear Juliet, I’m just outside your window
Paris would have flowers or a poem
Me, I wish I would have brought a sandwich
Since I’m just here ‘cause I’m too drunk to get home
They say that young men’s love’s not in their hearts, but in their eyes
I swear I’m not like that so let me check between them thighs
I’ll make you swear your love to me below
I’ll always be your dirtbag Romeo

Dear Juliet, girl, I got some bad news
It seems your dickbag cousin’s met his end
Don’t get me wrong, that guy was such a toolkit
But I’m feeling bad ‘cause he was our kinsman
I’ll make it up to you if you’ll just let me in your bed
Oh, by the way, I’m leaving town, The Prince, he wants me dead
Now if you please, to your knees, thither go
I’ll always be your dirtbag Romeo

Dear Juliet, I’m lying right beside you
And even dead, you’re so completely fine
But as I quaff this PBR and poison
I wonder if you’re as hot as Rosaline
Our story ends with me and we’ve earned every coffin nail
But what we’ve really learned is not to trust Italian mail
Thy drugs are quick, a kiss before I go...oh no.
I’ll always be your dirtbag Romeo