Aim To Misbehave

by The PDX Broadsides

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1.
We’re flying away and there’s only one reason Forget duck and rabbit, it’s Browncoat Season Gotta break atmo or we’re humped tonight Pull on the stick and the engine’s thumpin’ Shift weight to the back and prepare for dumpin’ We’ll outrun Alliance if we’re light I aa-iii-mm to misbehave I aa-iii-mm to misbehave You can stay or you can go But don’t you dare make me slow I aa-iii-mm to misbehave Our cargo’s getting mighty stinky And we see our deal’s gone hinky Then two of our crew got nicked from us Time to launch a rescue mission To steal them from the opposition “Big damn heroes. Ain’t we just?” CHORUS In our shiny little ship, we'll give the Feds the slip Behind us Earth-That-Was, our future free because CHORUS I aa-iii-mm to misbehave
2.
CHORUS: Lego (la, la, la-la!) Lego (la, la, la-la!) We’ll go With our imagination We know That’s how we grow It won’t get old, no, And we’ll still play with Lego When we were just tiny tots We learned to play with building blocks And make our dreams, with toys it seemed To be so simple Build a castle, make a car Plastic planes won’t fly real far But we’ll try to float our Lego boat And wish it bigger CHORUS So we’d build it, piece by piece Pirates, Star Wars, Space Police Big or small, create them all Red, yellow, green, blue It didn’t matter if the thing Looked just like Lord of the Rings Or a Gatling gun, we build for fun And sometimes still do CHORUS It doesn't matter what we make with Lego As long as we think as we play Blocks, thousands of blocks Land is green and helipads grey Give us buckets and boxes of bricks And we'll happily build all day Lego (la-la, la-la)
3.
Best In Life 02:29
You’re running late for your first date - it’s raining Or maybe there’s a hair in your french toast You’re orphaned and then sold off into slavery You know, the kinds of things that bug us all the most... CHORUS: Crush your enemies, see them driven before you Crush your enemies, hear the cries of their women When you feel your life's unjust Find the ones who sow distrust Crush your enemies, see them driven before you If you feel stress, your day is less than perfect And people do not act the way they should Then start your plans to make your life a better one By swearing to get your revenge, but good.... CHORUS When you’re in need and all you see are stop signs And everywhere you ask they tell you “no” Remember those who wouldn’t lend assistance And crucify them on your Tree of Woe CHORUS Don't put up with daily strife-- Find out what is best in life! Crush your enemies, see them driven before you
4.
When I was a girl, I knew I was pretty Was smarter than most and so charming and witty I thought I could light up the room like the fourth of July If you asked me, I’d tell you, I had only begun I'd be Xena and Einstein all rolled into one I knew I was gonna be big just as soon as I tried So, where is the girl who threw stars at her feet? When did the warrior princess retreat? When did she look at herself and say, “Oh, never mind.” Well, I’m still the girl who believed she could fly She’s still a part of me deeper inside. It’s hard to remember the words, but I still want to try It’s the story of me We batter ourselves just trying to be better To be the smartest and geekiest winsome go-getter The bar just keeps getting raised when we get to the top If you ask me, I’ll tell you, I’m still figuring out Just who I am, what I want, and where to hang out I know I deserve more, some days it’s just hard to see why CHORUS I’d like to talk to the 12-year old me And tell her she's playing a role we don't need Don't pretend that you don’t want the things you're afraid you can’t have If you ask me, I’ll tell you, I like who I am I’m stronger each day if I give it a chance I don’t know the outcome, I’m writing it all as I go CHORUS So, maybe it's time that I learned how to stand Maybe it's time I embraced who I am I don't know the whole story, but at least now I don't have to lie. It’s the story of me
5.
Everyone complains about love - "It's so complex," they say It's no square root of negative one, there is no math to blame Love is not impossible, it's just a search for B That loops around and round in a circle From 1 to infinity RUN 10 LET A be a girl like me 20 LET B be you 30 IF A is equal to B THEN honey I guess we'll do (GOTO 80) 40 LET us give it one more try 50 IF it doesn't work THEN 60 We are not compatible 70 GOTO 10 After several iterations you might be feeling low But just add one to the B you had and back to the top you go Love is not impossible, it's just a search for B That loops around and round in a circle From 1 to infinity RUN 10 LET A be a girl like me 20 LET B be you 30 IF A is equal to B THEN honey I guess we'll do (GOTO 80) 40 LET us give it one more try 50 IF it doesn't work THEN 60 We are not compatible 70 GOTO 10 LET A be a girl like me 20 LET B be you 30 IF A is equal to B THEN honey I guess we'll do (GOTO 80 now) 40 LET us give it one more try 50 IF it doesn't work THEN 60 We are not compatible 70 GOTO 10 80 STOP
6.
They fight evil with extraordinary powers They save us and the place that we call home And when the villain’s stunned, the battle has been won Sometimes they just want to be alone CHORUS: Superheroes are people, too Give those guys the same respect they give to me and you Let them have some privacy when the day is through Because superheroes are people, too With great power comes great responsibility And our heroes have taken up that task After dangers that they face, they need some private space We don’t think that it’s too much to ask CHORUS Wonder Woman can shower on her own Stop asking Catwoman if she will "crack your whip" Zatanna can wear pants if she wants to A telephoto lens is not a relationship... Peter Parker If you see your favorite hero at a club Or walking Krypto or on a date Give them a friendly wave and please try to behave You would not like the Hulk when he’s irate CHORUS Because sometimes Spider-Man just wants a jug of milk Superheroes are people, too
7.
I wish that I were royalty, if only I could be Beautiful like Princess Peach or cheerful like Daisy Instead when my prince does arrive, I’ll be forced to say “I’m sorry, Prince, as it turns out This is not your day” CHORUS: Because our princess is in another castle She was here but now she’s gone, so please just move along Because our princess is in another castle But I really wish it could be me I wish I had a gown, instead I wear this mushroom hat And because I’m short I’m afraid it just makes me look fat After all this way you’ve come and I must look contrite But Mario, I promise more Than one heart breaks tonight CHORUS And if I were her I’d cook all your meals with mushrooms And I’d take you to my bedroom so I could hold you close at night Could I be yours? Well, maybe you’re short-sighted I’m saying I would be delighted If you could overlook my height I know it’s not avoidable, soon you will be here Bowser will find his defeat and you’ll finally be near I’ll take a breath, try to confess - I can’t keep this at bay But you interrupt me as I start Drop to your knees and say No, Toad, my princess is in this castle I’ve been through every world, it’s true, I’d take on any boss for you Because my princess is in this castle So won’t you come away with me? At least that's how I dream it'd be
8.
Last night I dreamed I found a fish and made her my dear friend She licked my wounds and gave me hope that loneliness could end She held more magic in her fin than the ocean could contain And even when the waves run high, I love her just the same CHORUS: I want a house that can walk me to the store And I want the cat bus to show up at my door I wanna make friends with the fire that cooks my breakfast everyday I'm dreaming Miyazaki dreams and I just wanna stay--asleep. My house is filled with soot sprites but I can't laugh them away I'm restless and just wishing for a friend to bright my day I found him in the woods, a beast so magical and strange He made my garden grow and brought me laughter for a change CHORUS It's hard when I am lonely in a world that's not my own Forgot my name and cannot cross the river to get home But even when the nightmares come, they can't tear me apart 'Cause I've got magic in my pocket and got love here in my heart CHORUS
9.
CHORUS: All night long, until the break of dawn We'll take your calls and caterwauls About strange bloodstains on your walls Don't be scared, we are well prepared We're your - paranormal helpdesk. Thank you for calling supernatural support You’re having trouble with demonic possession? Try throwing a virgin in a volcano. If that resolved your problem, my last name is McCollom And I hope that you’ll fill out a short survey Thank you for calling supernatural support You're through to troubleshooting for vamps and incubi Try shoving a pointed stake into its heart If all he does is moan, at least now he'll leave you alone I hope I have been of some help today CHORUS Thank you for calling supernatural support No, I'm afraid your policy won’t cover that Angry hordes of angels ARE an "Act of God" If they can’t be placated, it's time you relocated I'll connect you to our Department of Priests Thank you for calling supernatural support I see here on my screen your number has been flagged Twilight is just fiction; it’s an awful book Edward isn't real; I just don't see the appeal Of a stalker vamp watching while you sleep All night long, until the break of dawn We'll take your calls and caterwauls About strange bloodstains on your walls Don't be scared, we are well prepared All night long, until the break of dawn We'll talk you down about the clown Who’s in your kitchen with a knife Don't be scared, we are well prepared You've reached the - paranormal helpdesk
10.
I wanted someone who was very Non-imaginary Who would take me from a life of nothing great So desperate for some real excitement Scared of what my life meant If I had to be the captain and first mate You were everything I thought I needed Listened when I pleaded And rewarded me with journeys to the stars Even when you left me jaded So humiliated You would always turn back time and heal the scars CHORUS I don’t need you to rescue me I just need you to care I’d like to think you think of me out there You were my companion Just as much as I was yours I was the girl who waited… I’m not waiting any more Now I’m wiser and I’ve chosen better Here’s your Dear John letter Though it’s full of love and tenderness from me If I don’t choose what road I’m taking Then I’m only faking And I’m not the woman I deserve to be CHORUS x2
11.
I love to watch my Game of Thrones - by far my favorite show But if you haven't seen it and know nothing like Jon Snow I'm happy to give you some pointers Game rules, as it were The first thing that you really ought to know: Everybody dies Everybody dies You'll see their headless corpses covered with flies No matter if they're good or bad Stand tall or small in size There's one thing you will find Everybody dies The second thing I'll share with you is no one ever shares Your best friend will betray you even though he says he cares The only person you can trust is One who's in the grave Be careful, its a rotten world out there Everybody lies Everybody lies You'll see their smiling faces are a disguise They'll promise you a castle And then stab you in the eyes There's one thing you will find Everybody lies The final thing to teach you, if I'm put under duress: You'll never have to wait for long to see someone undress You might glimpse Theon's Greyjoy Or a Lannister's white bum But one fact simply can't be overstressed: Everybody's boobs Everybody's boobs You'll see them stripped from dresses down to their pubes The writers have to show 'em all, Main characters and newbs There's one thing you will see Everybody's boobs (Lemme take that back) There's two things you will see Everybody's boobs (And now you're done) In the game of boobs and lies everybody dies!
12.
Your roommates would like you to know They can hear your nocturnal activity And they say it wouldn’t be so bad (so bad) If your girlfriend didn’t have a proclivity We all know she’s quite fulfilled She screams just like she’s being killed We’re happy that you love her crotch (her crotch) But could you take it down a notch? CHORUS: Don’t be a dick, don’t be a dick, don’t be a dick Wil's advice is wise, so use this simple trick Treat others well, it’s Wheaton’s Law, and we hope it sticks So when in doubt... Don’t be a dick You told your friends to meet at three o’clock They’ve been waiting, and now it’s - after four Paid their tab and now they’re gonna go (bye bye) When you finally come strolling - in the door You didn’t think to text or call And you don’t get why they’re mad at all ‘Cause there were other things to do And they’re not being fair to you CHORUS Someone is wrong on the internet SOMEONE is WRONG on the INTERNET Don’t let a troll ruin your whole day Shut them down when they start Someone is wrong on the internet SOMEONE is WRONG on the INTERNET The unfriend button is just a click away The unfriend button in your heart Park in handicap, ‘cause you’ll be “just a sec” And use express lanes when you have a full cart Don’t let people merge on the highway (beep beep) Blame someone else and walk away when you fart Touching people without permission Sneaking in events without admission Being a sexist, racist, asshole kind of guy (that guy) Or swiping the last piece of pie CHORUS Don’t be a dick, don’t be a dick, don’t be a dick Wil's advice is wise, so use this simple trick If you have to ask, it’s probably wrong, so let this message click So when in doubt... Don’t be a dick
13.
Nathan Fillion, please take off your pants! (Nathan Fillion, please take off your pants!) Nathan Fillion, please take off your pants! (Nathan Fillion, please take off your pants!) Nathan Fillion, do a little dance! (Nathan Fillion, do a little dance!) Nathan Fillion, please take off your pants! (Nathan Fillion, please take off your pants!) I threw my spoon across the room When I saw that perfect moon I didn’t know just what to do So I hit rewind And when his rear appeared again I had to slowly count to ten Or else my heart would surely rend From seeing that behind! I rewatched all of Firefly In vain attempts to espy Whether what was under fly Was really quite that grand They call him one in Much Ado But I’m feeling rather blue It lacked the tush we want to view The finest in the land! His rump is proving awful wily There’s a glimpse in Outing Riley I’d rather see him twerk than Miley But he’s got some class His tuchus even has a Tumblr Nathan, if you want my number I could be your booty drummer Oh my god, DAT BUTT

about

Our sophomore album, with songs ranging from growing up geek to advice columns by Conan the Barbarian to call centers in purgatory, celebrates our love for nerddom.

"Aim to Misbehave is a fun and relaxing album that is unapologetic in it’s celebration of fandom." - Geek Hard Show

"Pick this album up, it’s not only diverse in subjects but styles of music as well. It’ll make great geeky background music for your next tabletop game night." - Seattle Geekly

credits

released May 26, 2015

Vocals: Jessica Hebert, Hollyanna McCollom, Christian Lipski
Guitars: Christian Lipski

Special appearances by Aubrey Webber (cello) and Fletcher Lanning (upright bass)

Recorded at Anthemtown Studios; Portland, OR.

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The PDX Broadsides Portland, Oregon

The PDX Broadsides (Portland, OR)
pdxbroadsides.com
are a trio of nerd enthusiasts who sing about science, piracy, superheroes, robots, and other geeky topics with great vigor and harmony. Formed in September 2011 on accident in a crucible of exhaustion, excessive coffee and too much wine, they deliver original nerdy tunes and geek parodies. ... more

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