1. |
Aim To Misbehave
02:46
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We’re flying away and there’s only one reason
Forget duck and rabbit, it’s Browncoat Season
Gotta break atmo or we’re humped tonight
Pull on the stick and the engine’s thumpin’
Shift weight to the back and prepare for dumpin’
We’ll outrun Alliance if we’re light
I aa-iii-mm to misbehave
I aa-iii-mm to misbehave
You can stay or you can go
But don’t you dare make me slow
I aa-iii-mm to misbehave
Our cargo’s getting mighty stinky
And we see our deal’s gone hinky
Then two of our crew got nicked from us
Time to launch a rescue mission
To steal them from the opposition
“Big damn heroes. Ain’t we just?”
CHORUS
In our shiny little ship, we'll give the Feds the slip
Behind us Earth-That-Was, our future free because
CHORUS
I aa-iii-mm to misbehave
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2. |
The Lego Song
03:20
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CHORUS:
Lego (la, la, la-la!)
Lego (la, la, la-la!)
We’ll go
With our imagination
We know
That’s how we grow
It won’t get old, no,
And we’ll still play with Lego
When we were just tiny tots
We learned to play with building blocks
And make our dreams, with toys it seemed
To be so simple
Build a castle, make a car
Plastic planes won’t fly real far
But we’ll try to float our Lego boat
And wish it bigger
CHORUS
So we’d build it, piece by piece
Pirates, Star Wars, Space Police
Big or small, create them all
Red, yellow, green, blue
It didn’t matter if the thing
Looked just like Lord of the Rings
Or a Gatling gun, we build for fun
And sometimes still do
CHORUS
It doesn't matter what we make with Lego
As long as we think as we play
Blocks, thousands of blocks
Land is green and helipads grey
Give us buckets and boxes of bricks
And we'll happily build all day
Lego (la-la, la-la)
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3. |
Best In Life
02:29
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You’re running late for your first date - it’s raining
Or maybe there’s a hair in your french toast
You’re orphaned and then sold off into slavery
You know, the kinds of things that bug us all the most...
CHORUS:
Crush your enemies, see them driven before you
Crush your enemies, hear the cries of their women
When you feel your life's unjust
Find the ones who sow distrust
Crush your enemies, see them driven before you
If you feel stress, your day is less than perfect
And people do not act the way they should
Then start your plans to make your life a better one
By swearing to get your revenge, but good....
CHORUS
When you’re in need and all you see are stop signs
And everywhere you ask they tell you “no”
Remember those who wouldn’t lend assistance
And crucify them on your Tree of Woe
CHORUS
Don't put up with daily strife--
Find out what is best in life!
Crush your enemies, see them driven before you
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4. |
The Story Of Me
05:17
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When I was a girl, I knew I was pretty
Was smarter than most and so charming and witty
I thought I could light up the room like the fourth of July
If you asked me, I’d tell you, I had only begun
I'd be Xena and Einstein all rolled into one
I knew I was gonna be big just as soon as I tried
So, where is the girl who threw stars at her feet?
When did the warrior princess retreat?
When did she look at herself and say, “Oh, never mind.”
Well, I’m still the girl who believed she could fly
She’s still a part of me deeper inside.
It’s hard to remember the words, but I still want to try
It’s the story of me
We batter ourselves just trying to be better
To be the smartest and geekiest winsome go-getter
The bar just keeps getting raised when we get to the top
If you ask me, I’ll tell you, I’m still figuring out
Just who I am, what I want, and where to hang out
I know I deserve more, some days it’s just hard to see why
CHORUS
I’d like to talk to the 12-year old me
And tell her she's playing a role we don't need
Don't pretend that you don’t want the things you're afraid you can’t have
If you ask me, I’ll tell you, I like who I am
I’m stronger each day if I give it a chance
I don’t know the outcome, I’m writing it all as I go
CHORUS
So, maybe it's time that I learned how to stand
Maybe it's time I embraced who I am
I don't know the whole story, but at least now I don't have to lie.
It’s the story of me
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5. |
Love is BASIC
02:02
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Everyone complains about love - "It's so complex," they say
It's no square root of negative one, there is no math to blame
Love is not impossible, it's just a search for B
That loops around and round in a circle
From 1 to infinity
RUN
10 LET A be a girl like me
20 LET B be you
30 IF A is equal to B THEN honey I guess we'll do (GOTO 80)
40 LET us give it one more try
50 IF it doesn't work THEN
60 We are not compatible
70 GOTO 10
After several iterations you might be feeling low
But just add one to the B you had and back to the top you go
Love is not impossible, it's just a search for B
That loops around and round in a circle
From 1 to infinity
RUN
10 LET A be a girl like me
20 LET B be you
30 IF A is equal to B THEN honey I guess we'll do (GOTO 80)
40 LET us give it one more try
50 IF it doesn't work THEN
60 We are not compatible
70 GOTO
10 LET A be a girl like me
20 LET B be you
30 IF A is equal to B THEN honey I guess we'll do (GOTO 80 now)
40 LET us give it one more try
50 IF it doesn't work THEN
60 We are not compatible
70 GOTO 10
80 STOP
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6. |
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They fight evil with extraordinary powers
They save us and the place that we call home
And when the villain’s stunned, the battle has been won
Sometimes they just want to be alone
CHORUS:
Superheroes are people, too
Give those guys the same respect they give to me and you
Let them have some privacy when the day is through
Because superheroes are people, too
With great power comes great responsibility
And our heroes have taken up that task
After dangers that they face, they need some private space
We don’t think that it’s too much to ask
CHORUS
Wonder Woman can shower on her own
Stop asking Catwoman if she will "crack your whip"
Zatanna can wear pants if she wants to
A telephoto lens is not a relationship... Peter Parker
If you see your favorite hero at a club
Or walking Krypto or on a date
Give them a friendly wave and please try to behave
You would not like the Hulk when he’s irate
CHORUS
Because sometimes Spider-Man just wants a jug of milk
Superheroes are people, too
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7. |
Toad's Lament
02:57
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I wish that I were royalty, if only I could be
Beautiful like Princess Peach or cheerful like Daisy
Instead when my prince does arrive, I’ll be forced to say
“I’m sorry, Prince, as it turns out
This is not your day”
CHORUS:
Because our princess is in another castle
She was here but now she’s gone, so please just move along
Because our princess is in another castle
But I really wish it could be me
I wish I had a gown, instead I wear this mushroom hat
And because I’m short I’m afraid it just makes me look fat
After all this way you’ve come and I must look contrite
But Mario, I promise more
Than one heart breaks tonight
CHORUS
And if I were her
I’d cook all your meals with mushrooms
And I’d take you to my bedroom so
I could hold you close at night
Could I be yours?
Well, maybe you’re short-sighted
I’m saying I would be delighted
If you could overlook my height
I know it’s not avoidable, soon you will be here
Bowser will find his defeat and you’ll finally be near
I’ll take a breath, try to confess - I can’t keep this at bay
But you interrupt me as I start
Drop to your knees and say
No, Toad, my princess is in this castle
I’ve been through every world, it’s true, I’d take on any boss for you
Because my princess is in this castle
So won’t you come away with me?
At least that's how I dream it'd be
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8. |
Miyazaki Dreams
02:44
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Last night I dreamed I found a fish and made her my dear friend
She licked my wounds and gave me hope that loneliness could end
She held more magic in her fin than the ocean could contain
And even when the waves run high, I love her just the same
CHORUS:
I want a house that can walk me to the store
And I want the cat bus to show up at my door
I wanna make friends with the fire that cooks my breakfast everyday
I'm dreaming Miyazaki dreams and I just wanna stay--asleep.
My house is filled with soot sprites but I can't laugh them away
I'm restless and just wishing for a friend to bright my day
I found him in the woods, a beast so magical and strange
He made my garden grow and brought me laughter for a change
CHORUS
It's hard when I am lonely in a world that's not my own
Forgot my name and cannot cross the river to get home
But even when the nightmares come, they can't tear me apart
'Cause I've got magic in my pocket and got love here in my heart
CHORUS
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9. |
Paranormal Helpdesk
02:52
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CHORUS:
All night long, until the break of dawn
We'll take your calls and caterwauls
About strange bloodstains on your walls
Don't be scared, we are well prepared
We're your - paranormal helpdesk.
Thank you for calling supernatural support
You’re having trouble with demonic possession?
Try throwing a virgin in a volcano.
If that resolved your problem, my last name is McCollom
And I hope that you’ll fill out a short survey
Thank you for calling supernatural support
You're through to troubleshooting for vamps and incubi
Try shoving a pointed stake into its heart
If all he does is moan, at least now he'll leave you alone
I hope I have been of some help today
CHORUS
Thank you for calling supernatural support
No, I'm afraid your policy won’t cover that
Angry hordes of angels ARE an "Act of God"
If they can’t be placated, it's time you relocated
I'll connect you to our Department of Priests
Thank you for calling supernatural support
I see here on my screen your number has been flagged
Twilight is just fiction; it’s an awful book
Edward isn't real; I just don't see the appeal
Of a stalker vamp watching while you sleep
All night long, until the break of dawn
We'll take your calls and caterwauls
About strange bloodstains on your walls
Don't be scared, we are well prepared
All night long, until the break of dawn
We'll talk you down about the clown
Who’s in your kitchen with a knife
Don't be scared, we are well prepared
You've reached the - paranormal helpdesk
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10. |
The Girl Who Waited
02:55
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I wanted someone who was very
Non-imaginary
Who would take me from a life of nothing great
So desperate for some real excitement
Scared of what my life meant
If I had to be the captain and first mate
You were everything I thought I needed
Listened when I pleaded
And rewarded me with journeys to the stars
Even when you left me jaded
So humiliated
You would always turn back time and heal the scars
CHORUS
I don’t need you to rescue me
I just need you to care
I’d like to think you think of me out there
You were my companion
Just as much as I was yours
I was the girl who waited…
I’m not waiting any more
Now I’m wiser and I’ve chosen better
Here’s your Dear John letter
Though it’s full of love and tenderness from me
If I don’t choose what road I’m taking
Then I’m only faking
And I’m not the woman I deserve to be
CHORUS x2
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11. |
Everybody Dies
02:49
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I love to watch my Game of Thrones - by far my favorite show
But if you haven't seen it and know nothing like Jon Snow
I'm happy to give you some pointers
Game rules, as it were
The first thing that you really ought to know:
Everybody dies
Everybody dies
You'll see their headless corpses covered with flies
No matter if they're good or bad
Stand tall or small in size
There's one thing you will find
Everybody dies
The second thing I'll share with you is no one ever shares
Your best friend will betray you even though he says he cares
The only person you can trust is
One who's in the grave
Be careful, its a rotten world out there
Everybody lies
Everybody lies
You'll see their smiling faces are a disguise
They'll promise you a castle
And then stab you in the eyes
There's one thing you will find
Everybody lies
The final thing to teach you, if I'm put under duress:
You'll never have to wait for long to see someone undress
You might glimpse Theon's Greyjoy
Or a Lannister's white bum
But one fact simply can't be overstressed:
Everybody's boobs
Everybody's boobs
You'll see them stripped from dresses down to their pubes
The writers have to show 'em all,
Main characters and newbs
There's one thing you will see
Everybody's boobs
(Lemme take that back)
There's two things you will see
Everybody's boobs
(And now you're done)
In the game of boobs and lies everybody dies!
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12. |
Wheaton's Law [explicit]
02:52
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Your roommates would like you to know
They can hear your nocturnal activity
And they say it wouldn’t be so bad (so bad)
If your girlfriend didn’t have a proclivity
We all know she’s quite fulfilled
She screams just like she’s being killed
We’re happy that you love her crotch (her crotch)
But could you take it down a notch?
CHORUS:
Don’t be a dick, don’t be a dick, don’t be a dick
Wil's advice is wise, so use this simple trick
Treat others well, it’s Wheaton’s Law, and we hope it sticks
So when in doubt...
Don’t be a dick
You told your friends to meet at three o’clock
They’ve been waiting, and now it’s - after four
Paid their tab and now they’re gonna go (bye bye)
When you finally come strolling - in the door
You didn’t think to text or call
And you don’t get why they’re mad at all
‘Cause there were other things to do
And they’re not being fair to you
CHORUS
Someone is wrong on the internet
SOMEONE is WRONG on the INTERNET
Don’t let a troll ruin your whole day
Shut them down when they start
Someone is wrong on the internet
SOMEONE is WRONG on the INTERNET
The unfriend button is just a click away
The unfriend button in your heart
Park in handicap, ‘cause you’ll be “just a sec”
And use express lanes when you have a full cart
Don’t let people merge on the highway (beep beep)
Blame someone else and walk away when you fart
Touching people without permission
Sneaking in events without admission
Being a sexist, racist, asshole kind of guy (that guy)
Or swiping the last piece of pie
CHORUS
Don’t be a dick, don’t be a dick, don’t be a dick
Wil's advice is wise, so use this simple trick
If you have to ask, it’s probably wrong, so let this message click
So when in doubt...
Don’t be a dick
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13. |
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Nathan Fillion, please take off your pants!
(Nathan Fillion, please take off your pants!)
Nathan Fillion, please take off your pants!
(Nathan Fillion, please take off your pants!)
Nathan Fillion, do a little dance!
(Nathan Fillion, do a little dance!)
Nathan Fillion, please take off your pants!
(Nathan Fillion, please take off your pants!)
I threw my spoon across the room
When I saw that perfect moon
I didn’t know just what to do
So I hit rewind
And when his rear appeared again
I had to slowly count to ten
Or else my heart would surely rend
From seeing that behind!
I rewatched all of Firefly
In vain attempts to espy
Whether what was under fly
Was really quite that grand
They call him one in Much Ado
But I’m feeling rather blue
It lacked the tush we want to view
The finest in the land!
His rump is proving awful wily
There’s a glimpse in Outing Riley
I’d rather see him twerk than Miley
But he’s got some class
His tuchus even has a Tumblr
Nathan, if you want my number
I could be your booty drummer
Oh my god, DAT BUTT
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The PDX Broadsides Portland, Oregon
The PDX Broadsides (Portland, OR)
pdxbroadsides.com
are a trio of nerd enthusiasts who sing about science,
piracy, superheroes, robots, and other geeky topics with great vigor and harmony. Formed in September 2011 on accident in a crucible of exhaustion, excessive coffee and too much wine, they deliver original nerdy tunes and geek parodies.
... more
The PDX Broadsides recommends:
Chainmail and Cello
by The Doubleclicks
We <3 the DCs for their sister-folk sound and funny lyrics, and we sing backup on two songs on this album.
go to album
The Nerd Punk Guide to the Galaxy
by Thundering Asteroids!
Our friends and fellow nerdrockers here in PDX will melt your face off with "Hit It and Crit."
go to albumIf you like The PDX Broadsides, you may also like:
Love Problems
by The Doubleclicks
supported by 28 fans who also own “Aim To Misbehave”
love those girls best when seen live
go to album
The Book was Better
by The Doubleclicks
supported by 28 fans who also own “Aim To Misbehave”
Funny and nerdy, but also poignant at times.
go to album
In A Time Of Trouble A Wild Exultation
by Jaye Bartell
A stunning and sparse follow-up to last year's "Light Enough" from Brooklyn songwriter Jaye Bartell.
go to album
Speakeasy - Live 2016
by John Robins
Robins decided to release the recording of his 2016 comedy tour during the Covid-19 shutdown at the behest of fans.
go to album
